I’ve missed you. I’ve been growing a lot lately. Lots of new things have been coming into my life. 

I’m learning that you can just as easily let go of things as you can hold on to them. I’m learning that it is just as easy to take a deep breath and laugh at something as it is to be frustrated and uptight over it. I’m learning that getting involved with other people and their business can cause much more trouble than is needed. I’m learning that you have to be able to take a punch, and throw one right back (literally and figuratively). I’m learning that it is just as easy to make things simple as it is to make them difficult.

I’ve made a new friend, and I’m learning a lot. And I’m more excited than I’ve ever been.

haha people don’t talk to me unless it has something to do with themselves

i love boxing almost as much as i love riding horses

it’s the second best thing that has ever happened to me 

ugh and my trainer is the coolest person ever and he says i’m really good

even my mom was like “wow i haven’t seen you smile that much in a long time”

I’M JUST SO HAPPY BECAUSE OF MUSIC

death cab’s pandora station is honestly one of the best things that has happened in my life in probably about two months

I’ve started giving myself rewards whenever I actually do my homework. I only have 6 weeks or so until school is out and I have to finish over a semester of work for multiple classes. 

Goal 1: Buy my Bamboozle tickets when I finish all of history

Goal 2: Buy my Gladstone tickets when I finish all of english

Goal 3: Sleep when I finish everything else

Today the man I work for and I spent the day just walking our horses and talking about all different things. I’ve grown extremely fond of him, and I continue to learn more and more from him every day. At one point we were talking about what I was going to do with my future (ugh) and he asked what I wanted to do. I told him that at this point I have no idea. He turned to me and said, “The most important thing is that you learn how to learn. Once you know that, you can do anything.” Out of all of the adults in my life that offer guidance and support to me, no one has ever said that. And I think that it’s the most important advice I’ve gotten.

He told me that I need to learn to learn, so I can know more about myself. He said that I need to be able to know really who I am, and not depend on others to tell me who that is. Of course (as I always have), I take pieces of advice or guidance from whoever offers it to me, but I always try to shape it into my own opinion rather than just following whatever others say. He told me that I have to really shape and learn about myself, because at one point in my life, there will be really hard times, and I’ll be the only one I have to rely on. “Stay positive, work hard, and don’t take things personally. You’re very smart and talented and you’re on the right track, and I have no doubt that you’ll be able to make it just fine. You’ll figure it out with no problems.” 

At this point in my life, I have no idea what I’ll want to do or what’s going to make me happy. And of course I don’t expect to know; I’m too young. I just think everything is kind of confusing right now because there is so much to learn and discover, and it takes time to sort everything out. I’m trying to take everything day by day. But I’m very happy where I am right now, and I guess that’s the most important thing. 

ryan atwood is the only man that will ever be right for me